Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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