sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
