So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Can I color on your dick again?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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