She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
