How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
