when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
