The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
