dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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