People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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