Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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