Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
