I showed him my bush... on skype.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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