so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Drake has all the answers
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You don't make any sense
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