did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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