she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How drunk are you?
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