I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
