We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
