brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
