I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
