So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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