watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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