He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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