His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
