We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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