im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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