the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
