i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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