ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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