He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
