Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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