how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
