I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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