Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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