I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
