Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
