I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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