I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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