Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize