woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize