She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
