Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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