His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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