I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
