How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
