Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
