Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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