So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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