Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
what day is it and did you see me today?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
