come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
