The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
