Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
