Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize