why didn't you poke me back
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
