I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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