the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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