she was so not down for the gang bang
North Korea, Best Korea!
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
