Having a random hookup so left but love u
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
