Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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