you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
