Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
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I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
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strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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