You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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