so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You are a genius and a whore.
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