remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize