I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
