I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
