i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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