You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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