I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
