just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
