i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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